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This One Is Compliments of Charm_BHere’s one I found funny:All mushrooms are edible, but some only once.These Are Compliments of John ASome are dated but are still funny...1. My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.2. Ate salad for dinner. Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.3. How to prepare Tofu:a. Throw it in the trashb. Grill some meat4. I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.5. I don’t mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food in 3 hours and 20 minutes.6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.7. Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me. ...' but before Sue finished Mike interrupted..'You don't remember me do you?' he paused.. 'We were at school together , where from what I remember you were a right cunt, but sorry please go on.'Sue, obviously flustered continued 'Um I wanted to see if we could work something out regarding my sisters debt?’Mike looked at the tall black guy.. 'How much does she owe', '20 grand' he said. Mike looked at Sue..'You got 20 grand Sue? Sue was stunned, she had considered maybe a thousand or two but 20,000 pounds... never. 'Um no, but can we agree a plan to pay it back in instalments?’ Mike jumped to his feet 'Do I look like a fuckin bank?' he shouted 'Either she pays it back by noon today or I send the boys around to break off some of her fingers and take what they can from her house. Or your find some other way for you to pay off her debt'. What do you mean some other way?Mike thought carefully.... 'Well I run a little business here and I need people to courier my product around.
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